Another Conflict

                                 "But he took my balloon!"

     War is always an agonizing dilemma.  As a member of an Ethical Society and a humanist, my truth lies in considering how a war would affect me, my family, my friends, and the wider world.   OK.  Here is my bottom line:  Would I be willing to serve with the military?  Would I be willing to have my children serve? 

     I like to think that World War II was a war that I would have been engaged along with my children.  My father signed up and spent his entire military career in the signal corps at Camp Leonard Wood.  He lost his only brother during the war when the plane Raymond was piloting was downed over France. Being in diapers, I did not get to enlist.  I objected to the Vietnam War and refused to participate.  I also wonder about the shear number of conflicts in which we are engaged.  So many young people maimed and dead. 

     Now we are gearing up because our President drew a red line that was crossed.  Do the strong have an obligation to protect the defenseless?  Do we make a further mess because both sides represent interests anathema to decency - the government is an old-fashioned dictatorship and the rebel groups are mostly racial religionists.  So, the talk is of a surgical strike.  Apparently that means sending ballistics to destroy enough government facilities to encourage the dictator to cease using nerve gas.  That would seem to be just enough force to protect the defenseless. 

     Does that relieve me of having to reach my bottom line? 

What I Want For Father's Day

                                                       "Father's Day is coming."
                                                       "What did we get him last year?"
                                                       "Cologne or a pen set, I forget what Mom bought."
                                                       "As long as we get him something, shows we care."

  First, what I do not want.  More socks, underwear, ties, books, or electronic gizmos that glow in the dark.  Buying a present for fathers day feels like it is my birthday.  

  I would like gifts that show I matter.  First, from my children I would like them to clean their rooms.  It would make me feel that they care about our house. One day, once a year, for a moment, your floor is picked up,  you rug is vacuumed, desk tops are cleaned off, old stuff from clothes drawers is thrown out, and the clean laundry is put away.  What else?    Let's go out to dinner and have some fun.   A homemade card signed by ya'll would be OK. 

Commencement Speech....take one. Marv Friedlander, June 2013

  I wondered what it would be like to deliver a commencement speech.

  "President, trustees, deans, alumni, faculty, graduates, parents, and friends of the 2013 graduating class, thanks for asking me to talk with you today.   

  Newark Rutgers was my school of choice because it offered an extremely inexpensive college education with the Rutgers prestige .... if you omit the word "Newark."  No dorms, no dinning facility, no nothing except a couple of decrepit buildings used for classes spread around town.  We either commuted or lived in private, rundown apartments.  In-state tuition brought my semester tab to $400, about another $100 for books, and I was on my own for food.  Now you pay about $12,600 for tuition, about $8,000 for dorms, and more for books, food, and fees.  But, we have one thing in common, perseverance and imagination. 

  In the day, we had a desire to make something of ourselves.  So, we spent four years demonstrating fortitude.  That is, we minored in tolerating tedious teachers, avoiding drunks and panhandlers, and ignoring drab surroundings.  We also enjoyed some challenging teachers who demanded that we rise above our humble circumstances.   

  Little did we know that this was the stuff that would prepare us for life. 

  Like college, the day after requires that you stay positive, put out continuous effort, and suck up the dry dribblings from pompous bosses.  What really stinks is that just as you finally got a handle on how to study, prepare papers, cram for examinations, show up prepared for classes, and begin to achieve real breakthroughs in your chosen field, you have to start from the bottom as a working stiff.   But, ... and here is the key .... you know that by putting in the effort and through shear fortitude you will rise one day above the stifling, monotony of low level work.  Just as you found excitement and stimulation in some of your upper level classes, you will find that work will eventually permit your talents to shine.  You will be offered opportunities to flourish.  The college years where you learned to write and think and argue and learn will be rewarded.  Successes will roll upon success.  You will have opportunities to teach and mentor others.  And, remember, you were nourished by this Newark Rutgers campus. 

  And my hope for you?  Treat others with respect recalling your modest background. Remember perseverance will lead to opportunities; never forget it's your imagination that will make you happy.   

  I bid you the best in your future endeavors."

"What's your plan?"

"Four years of college; two years of graduate school."

"Then what?"

"Deli clerk."

                                    

Why Zombies?

     Do you recall science fiction movies from the 1950s?  My favorites were The Day the Earth Stood Still, Invaders From Mars, Creature From The Black Lagoon, and Invasion Of The Body Snatchers.  These movies are now understood to reflect our fear about communism.  That is, the aliens and monsters represented a collective anxiety that godless invaders would sabotage the United States.  Which leads me to consider what fears might be reflected by current shows featuring the living dead, such as The Walking Dead, Resident Evil, Zombieland, or I am Legend.  Unlike disaster movies from a bygone era when the principal actors survived, everyone is destroyed as the shows progress bit by bite.

     Could modern horror films reflect internalized fear about violence from the irrational, confused and unstable?  Do we believe in an apocalyptic future where we become infected, unable to stem the monsters - who are us.  If  these films represent a mirror that reflects our anxiety, the cure might be listening to rational voices that speak to mental health intervention, gun control measures, and calling out gratuitous violence portrayed in our media.      

Django Unchained

                          "Mom, violence is temporary and unpredictable." 

 I recently saw a movie called Django Unchained because my teenagers outvoted me.   The movie begins in Texas just before the American Civil War. The plot involves a German-born bounty hunter who poses as a dentist.  The bounty hunter makes a deal with a black slave: freedom in exchange for help with the hunter's cash-for-killing enterprise.  After the winter hunt, they travel to the deep south where the bounty hunter helps his former slave obtain freedom for the former slave's wife.  In some ways, Django is a typical buddy story.    In other ways, it resembles a coming of age story in which we follow the adventures of a young person (in this case an ignorant slave) as he/she reaches maturity.  Although it has moments of surprisingly good wit, ultimately the body pile, gore and viciousness recommend this movie as a cartoon-like homage to violence.  

  I recall A Clockwork Orange, in which the question is posed about whether violence is a necessary protection against a too violent society.  This was the same question explored in the movie, Straw Dogs, where a mild-mannered Dustin Hoffman takes homicidal retribution against English bullies.  And interestingly enough, this is the argument  the National Rifle Association recently offered as its official reaction to the Newtown massacre.  While denouncing a culture of violence, the NRA proffered an armed citizenry - including gun totting teachers and principles - as an appropriate response to random acts of violence.  While we like our John Wayne and Clint Eastwood, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger action heroes to mow down the bad guys, societal problems require a bit more thought.

Newtown

RECESS

When a father emerged from his church to speak with CNN's Anderson Cooper about the death of his child on that terrible Friday in Newton, I was surprised to hear him explain that we all have free will.  

My next door neighbor has guns.  He assured me they are under lock and key  and the family has been trained to safely use them.  I believed him until the day earlier this year when his son shot himself through his hand.  The bullet ended up lodged in their garage, which abuts my home.    

I wonder how that that child's free will was exercised.  I wonder how my free will would have been exercised if the bullet had struck me. 

Check is in the mail to:

Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence
1225 Eye Street, NW, Suite 1100
Washington, DC 20005

 http://www.bradycampaign.org

"If we are all sinners, aren't our public officials just doing what comes naturally?"

Ethics 101

At its core, ethics is about choices.  I am not talking about the acts: to commit adultery, solicit a bribe, or abuse power.  I am talking about developing a system of values.  Without developing values in which we believe, it might be too late when we actually have to make a difficult choice.  An ethical life demands that we consider what we value before we have to make a choice.  If we value a hedonistic life that seeks to use people to gratify ourselves irrespective of the hurt, then we are prepared to make a choice consonant with our values.  If we develop cynical views about politics or business that approve taking advantage irrespective of the harm, again that informs our choice.   These are not my choices. I value loyalty to my family and friends, honesty, and frankness tempered with empathy.  And I am not pretending to be a moral paragon by claiming to be superior to others.  I do not know too much about military codes of honor, political oaths of office, or religious vows.  I suspect they are relevant if consonant with what is valued and considered in relation to how they might be practically applied.  I prefer to develop my own values.  I also believe that once values are considered, we need actually think about how they might be practically applied.  When it comes time to make choices, I can look to my values for guidance.  That is one reason I belong to an Ethical Society.