What I Want For Father's Day

                                                       "Father's Day is coming."
                                                       "What did we get him last year?"
                                                       "Cologne or a pen set, I forget what Mom bought."
                                                       "As long as we get him something, shows we care."

  First, what I do not want.  More socks, underwear, ties, books, or electronic gizmos that glow in the dark.  Buying a present for fathers day feels like it is my birthday.  

  I would like gifts that show I matter.  First, from my children I would like them to clean their rooms.  It would make me feel that they care about our house. One day, once a year, for a moment, your floor is picked up,  you rug is vacuumed, desk tops are cleaned off, old stuff from clothes drawers is thrown out, and the clean laundry is put away.  What else?    Let's go out to dinner and have some fun.   A homemade card signed by ya'll would be OK. 

Commencement Speech....take one. Marv Friedlander, June 2013

  I wondered what it would be like to deliver a commencement speech.

  "President, trustees, deans, alumni, faculty, graduates, parents, and friends of the 2013 graduating class, thanks for asking me to talk with you today.   

  Newark Rutgers was my school of choice because it offered an extremely inexpensive college education with the Rutgers prestige .... if you omit the word "Newark."  No dorms, no dinning facility, no nothing except a couple of decrepit buildings used for classes spread around town.  We either commuted or lived in private, rundown apartments.  In-state tuition brought my semester tab to $400, about another $100 for books, and I was on my own for food.  Now you pay about $12,600 for tuition, about $8,000 for dorms, and more for books, food, and fees.  But, we have one thing in common, perseverance and imagination. 

  In the day, we had a desire to make something of ourselves.  So, we spent four years demonstrating fortitude.  That is, we minored in tolerating tedious teachers, avoiding drunks and panhandlers, and ignoring drab surroundings.  We also enjoyed some challenging teachers who demanded that we rise above our humble circumstances.   

  Little did we know that this was the stuff that would prepare us for life. 

  Like college, the day after requires that you stay positive, put out continuous effort, and suck up the dry dribblings from pompous bosses.  What really stinks is that just as you finally got a handle on how to study, prepare papers, cram for examinations, show up prepared for classes, and begin to achieve real breakthroughs in your chosen field, you have to start from the bottom as a working stiff.   But, ... and here is the key .... you know that by putting in the effort and through shear fortitude you will rise one day above the stifling, monotony of low level work.  Just as you found excitement and stimulation in some of your upper level classes, you will find that work will eventually permit your talents to shine.  You will be offered opportunities to flourish.  The college years where you learned to write and think and argue and learn will be rewarded.  Successes will roll upon success.  You will have opportunities to teach and mentor others.  And, remember, you were nourished by this Newark Rutgers campus. 

  And my hope for you?  Treat others with respect recalling your modest background. Remember perseverance will lead to opportunities; never forget it's your imagination that will make you happy.   

  I bid you the best in your future endeavors."

"What's your plan?"

"Four years of college; two years of graduate school."

"Then what?"

"Deli clerk."